Rat Infested NYC Looking for a ‘Rat Czar’

Talk about an odd job: the Mayor’s Office is currently looking for a “rat czar” to, according to an official job posting, “fight the real enemy—New York City’s relentless rat population.”

Technically called a Director of Rodent Mitigation, the new employee will be paid an annual salary of between $120,000 and $170,000 and will be expected to keep “the city’s rats in check and on notice.” The position is apparently a “24/7 job requiring stamina and stagecraft.” You can apply for the position right here.

As for job requirements, the would-be czar should:

  1. have a background in urban planning, project management or government and be able to work across agencies;
  2. be “highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty, determined to look at all solutions from various angles, including
    improving operational efficiency, data collection, technology innovation, trash management, and
    wholesale slaughter;”
  3. have a “swashbuckling attitude, crafty humor, and general aura of badassery” (we’re not kidding);
  4. display a “virulent vehemence for vermin.”

That last point should not be a problem, considering the fact that New Yorkers have been contending with more right sightings than ever before and readily (and rightfully) complaining about all the damage caused by the rodents all around town. 

Even mayor Eric Adams has had enough of the little animals. “There’s NOTHING I hate more than rats,” the politician wrote on Twitter yesterday, sharing the city’s latest job posting. “If you have the drive, determination and killer instinct needed to fight New York City’s relentless rat population—then your dream job awaits.”

The newly announced position follows a number of city initiatives aimed at curtailing the problem at hand, including a five-point “Rat Action Plan” that heavily relies on the establishment of “rat mitigation zones” where officials would be expected to double down on their efforts to control the population. The Sanitation Department would be tasked to come up with the parameters for each zone, also determining goals for all areas.

NYC has also limited how long trash bags can sit on a sidewalk, in the hopes of giving our rodent neighbors less of a chance to scurry through our garbage and get comfortable. 

Whether any of these efforts will actually improve the situation is yet to be seen, but we’re excited to finally have a dedicated rat person on staff. At least we’ll have someone to directly blame, right?

While we’re on the topic, we’d be remiss not to call attention to what we believe will become a go-to holiday gift: the NYC Sanitation Department’s new vermin T-shirt.

For $48, you can pre-order the shirt, which features a rat running away scared alongside the phrase “The rats don’t run this city. We do.” If the sentence sounds familiar, it’s because Sanitation commissioner Jessica Tisch pronounced it out loud on October 17 right outside of City Hall as she unveiled the shortened-trash-bag-sitting-on-the-street plan. A fashion statement indeed.

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