Trump Appointee’s X-Rated Cowboy Story Rocks D.C.

Washington is buzzing — and not in the way the White House would like.

Tucker Stewart, a Trump-appointed deputy assistant secretary of agriculture, is fighting to save his job after a sexually explicit, 28-page cowboy love story he wrote began circulating across Capitol Hill, triggering embarrassment at the highest levels of government.

According to a bombshell POLITICO report, Stewart’s graphic tale — which reportedly includes “vivid descriptions of oral sex” and other explicit scenes — has spread like wildfire through USDA offices, lobbying firms, and even among federal agencies.

Insiders say the document, which Stewart allegedly shared with colleagues while working as a senior adviser to GOP Sen. Roger Marshall, has now reached the Oval Office itself.

“It’s humiliating,” said one Democratic aide familiar with the situation. “We’re talking about a senior Trump appointee whose fantasy cowboy alter ego is having explicit encounters in D.C. while he’s supposed to be shaping agricultural policy. It’s beyond parody.”

Stewart currently serves as the top Capitol Hill liaison for Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins, a high-profile Trump ally who has championed deregulation and deep cuts to environmental protections.

White House officials are now debating whether Stewart’s position is tenable amid mounting pressure from within the administration. “Nobody wants this to become the next Beltway scandal,” one Republican strategist told me. “But the story’s already out there, and the damage is done.”

The controversy threatens to complicate Rollins’ efforts to push Trump’s 2025 Farm Bill, already under fire from environmental groups and Democrats for gutting clean water protections.

Stewart, 37, is no stranger to Washington’s inner circles. A Kansas native and Kansas State University graduate, he later earned his law degree from Washburn University. On his USDA bio, he famously boasts: “What happens when cowboy meets lawyer? You get someone like me.”

He also lists legal writing as one of his top skills — not creative writing, which critics now find ironic.

“It’s absurd,” said a former USDA official. “We’re trying to address climate impacts on crops, and this guy’s claim to fame is writing an R-rated cowboy fantasy. The optics couldn’t be worse.”

Democrats were quick to pounce on the scandal, blasting the administration for what they call “a culture of chaos and incompetence.”

Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) issued a pointed statement late Sunday:

“When senior officials at the USDA are making headlines for pornographic fan fiction instead of protecting family farms, Americans should be alarmed. This is yet another example of how President Trump’s appointments put ideology and personal connections over professionalism and integrity.”

Meanwhile, Republican allies have largely stayed silent, hoping the story fizzles out before it reaches Trump’s desk — though multiple reports confirm it already has.

For now, Stewart remains in his role, but insiders say his days are numbered. Neither the White House nor the USDA responded to requests for comment. Stewart himself has remained quiet, but one former colleague told reporters he’s “completely blindsided by how far this has gone.”

With the USDA already facing backlash over farm subsidies and environmental rollbacks, Democrats are framing the scandal as symptomatic of a broader dysfunction inside Trump’s second-term administration.

“This isn’t about a cowboy story,” said one Democratic strategist. “It’s about judgment, priorities, and a president who keeps putting the wrong people in charge.”