Brewery Plans Celebration When Mitch McConnell ‘Death is Announced’

A liberal Wisconsin brewery is preparing to raise a glass — and slash its beer prices — when the death of longtime Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell is officially announced.

Minocqua Brewing Company owner Kirk Bangstad said his taprooms will sell beer for half price following a public announcement that McConnell has died, turning the Kentucky senator’s recent health crisis into the brewery’s latest provocative political promotion.

McConnell, 84, was hospitalized after reportedly being found unconscious at his Washington, D.C., home on June 14. Limited information about his condition fueled online speculation, including unsubstantiated claims that he had already died or was being kept alive on a ventilator.

McConnell’s team later released a statement attributed to the senator saying he was doing well. But that did little to quiet the rumors — or stop Minocqua Brewing Company from moving ahead with its planned celebration.

“There’s an impending celebration to be had,” the brewery declared in a social media post.

“When they announce that McConnell’s Faustian dance has finally ended, we’re gonna start serving our beer at ‘half price,’ because we promised #halfpricebeerday on the day they unplug the ventilator,” the post continued.

The brewery said it chose half-price drinks because it believes McConnell is responsible for “about half of all America’s current problems.”

Free beer, it added, has already been reserved for “someone much more special” — an apparent reference to President Donald Trump.

There is one rule before the McConnell party can officially begin: Bangstad must first arrive at one of the company’s taprooms.

“The party doesn’t start until owner Kirk can make it to one of his taprooms,” the brewery said, predicting the delay would only last a few hours.

The business has already started cashing in on the controversial promotion by selling “#halfpricebeerday” T-shirts. In another grim jab, the brewery suggested supporters may no longer have enough time to order one before the event.

“We’d suggest you buy one of these T-shirts today, but it’s pretty clear that you wouldn’t get it in time for the party,” the post said.

The brewery also turned its fury toward Kentucky Democratic Gov. Andy Beshear, accusing him of failing to act as McConnell remained absent from the Senate for roughly six weeks.

Minocqua Brewing Company demanded that Beshear call a special election so Kentucky could select a new senator. The brewery claimed that unless an election was called by August 3, McConnell’s seat could remain unfilled until January if he did not return to office.

“Thanks for letting them get away with it, Governor Beshear,” the brewery wrote.

“As always, it appears your high-priced consultants, paid for by the special interests that tell you what to do, decided that throwing the rank and file a bone and holding McConnell’s folks accountable for lying to the American public wasn’t good strategy — so we’re once again left wondering what happened to the rule of law.”

The company then mockingly referred to McConnell as “Rigor Tortoise” and predicted that Americans would soon be told he had died weeks earlier.

There is no verified evidence supporting the brewery’s allegation that McConnell was already dead, and the senator’s representatives have publicly maintained that he was alive and recovering.

Still, the brewery has built a reputation on combative political marketing and is showing no signs of backing down.

Minocqua Brewing Company previously faced backlash after promising free beer on the day Trump dies. In its latest post, the brewery renewed that pledge and urged customers to purchase merchandise connected to the future event.

“Your best bet is to invest heavily in our #freebeerday collection,” the company wrote, “because — ladies and gentlemen — that global party is gonna be way more epic than the one we’re probably gonna have this week.”